Wit & Wisdom from WBSR'S Mailbox

THE TROUBLE TREE

The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had
just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made
him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his
ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home,
he sat in stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked
toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree,
touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening
the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned
face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small
children and gave his wife a kiss. Afterward he walked me
to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the
better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help
having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, troubles
don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I
just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then
in the morning I pick them up again."

He paused. "Funny thing is," he smiled, "When I come out in the
morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging
up the night before.

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Top Ten Keys to Online Success

There is no real secret to making money on the Internet. There
are just well-known key factors that must be met in order for you
to achieve online success. If your business doesn't meet these
key factors then it is bound to fail. Without further ado, here
are the "Top Ten Keys to Online Success"...

1. Provide Value

Let's look at two of the most successful online ventures; Yahoo
and Amazon.com. Why are they so successful? They provide
tremendous value to the Web. That's what they've been doing all
along. Your website must provide free resources, foster a sense
of community and show real value to your visitors. Without useful
information and real content, your website will just be background
noise. Provide real value and the revenues will follow.

2. Quality Presentation

Providing content, community, and utility is not enough. It must
be presented well. Quality means fast, clear web design that
looks good and is easy to understand. It should be easy on the
eyes, as well as the brain. Your users will make quick
determinations about the quality of your site. High quality will
result in repeat visitors and more traffic. The word about your
awesome site will spread!

3. Be Unique

Your site must be unique. You should own something no one else
has. In most Internet business opportunities you're nothing but
pitching something you don't even know anything about with a web
site that looks exactly like thousands of others. It's depressing
to see people waste their money promoting some "get rich quick
scheme" or advertising the same programs as everyone else. Not
to mention those ripoff cybermalls. So, if you don't have your own
unique website which fosters the Five C's (content, community,
consistency, capability and commerce) then you're nothing but a
cyber-static salespitch.

4. Build Your Brand

Why is Yahoo! valued at 10 times more than Infoseek? It's their
brand name. Yahoo! is now virtually synonymous with the Internet.
Amazon.com has also attained great name recognition. Both
companies have formed a name that people can easily remember
and with a comfortable ring to it. Today the key success factor is
not about gaining market share, but rather gaining "mind share".
This means brand recognition. Your name needs to be catchy and
meaningful. Your name needs to express a feeling or image in the
mind of the consumer. For example, the name Yahoo! is exciting
and makes me feel like I've struck gold. The name Amazon.com
paints a picture in my head of a vast and great jungle where
anything is possible.

5. E-Commerce

Let's face it. E-Commerce is here to stay. According to Forrester
Research, Online retail sales will hit $108 billion by 2003. Your
site must have a fully-functional E-commerce system built into
it. It's expected if you want to actually make sales through the
web. Visitors need to be able to purchase your product or service
at any time with just a click of a button. Your site needs to make
shopping a fast, fun and easy experience. Cater to the impulse
buyer and provide a simple yet effective shopping cart system.
How else do you expect to make any money on the Net?

6. Form Affiliations

One of Amazon's biggest success factors is their affiliate
program. Wherever we go there's an Amazon book being sold
on a website. It is so important to form solid partnerships and
affiliations. Set up your own affiliate program and you might
just see your profits soar. Develop joint venture partnerships
with those web sites that fit with the "theme" of your business.
Remember, you won't survive very long if you're trying to do it
all by yourself.

7. Technological Knowledge

No one accomplishes all of the above key factors without
substantial technical knowhow--or at least ready access to it. It
goes without saying Yahoo! and Amazon.com have many very
technically savvy people on staff. Surely you wouldn't expect to
build a substantial online business without doing the same. Of
course, you don't have to be a programmer, but you must have
access to those people who can support you technically.

8. Promote

Advertise! Promote! Tell the world about your site! And I don't
mean spam. I'm talking about constant, strategic and aggressive
promotion by using opt-in lists, ezine advertising, classified
advertising, search engines, targeted email marketing and other
online promotional tools. Advertise on the radio, newspapers, and
television. You have to let everyone know that you exist and that
you mean business. A web site is, in reality, infinitesimal bits
of data buried in a computer. It only means anything if people
come see your site.

9. Patience

You have to be patient and think long-term. It takes a lot of
hard work to be successful and it won't happen overnight. Plan
ahead. Focus on your strategy and develop the right moves for the
right time. Take your business step by step and you'll be greatly
rewarded. I see too many people trying to make that fast, quick
buck without putting much work into it. It's just not going to
happen that way.

10. Investment

In order to reach your goals and dreams, you have to invest time
and money. If you're short on finances, then try to gather friends,
family or investors to fund your project. If you think you have a really
great idea you should approach angel investors and venture capital
firms. According to the Small Business Administration they pour as
much as $20 billion a year into some 30,000 small companies.

--------------- About the Author ---------------

Rich Benvin and Dane Christensen are the developers of Absolute
Authority at http://www.absoluteauthority.com. Find out how Absolute
Authority utilizes the "Top Ten Keys of Online Success". Create your
own professional and profitable Vertical Portal with our Research
Department, Advanced Site Builder & Manager, Promotional Center,
and E-Commerce System. Now You Are The Absolute Authority!

How The Media Get Their Stories
    by Phil Wiley
    http:/www.ozemedia.com

Here's a rough breakdown of how newspapers come up
with stories:

* Journalists pick them up in a bar while chatting with people.

* Journalists hear about them when talking to friends and
   family.

* Readers letters to the editor often spark stories.

* Journalists rounds, or beats, are only of the major news
   sources. Newspaper journalists have a list of people they
   phone each day to ask "what's happening? Any news for us?
- example, they phone the majors office to ask what's happening
   at City Hall. They phone police, and fire departments.

* The weather. Too hot, too cold, tornadoes, floods. Come up
   with a new angle on a weather story and you've got a winner.

* press releases.

* people phoning up.

* Follow up's to stories in other publications. Regional
   newspaper editors will say "get me a local angle".

So how do you benefit from all this? Most stories come from
people contacting journalists, either face to face, on paper,
or by phone. Come up with a local angle on national news, or
a new angle on a weather story or any other of the regular
story types, and tell a journalist about it.

__________________________________________________

Tip from Phil Wiley's All the Secrets - a unique weekly
marketing and free publicity letter. Sign up for free at
<http://www.ozemedia.com> Free listings of journalists
email addresses.

"There should be a maximum allowed legal size for TV
>>screens.    The face of no CRT should be more than
>>17 inches measured diagonally from upper left corner
>>to the lower right corner.
>>
>>Overlarge TV screens are one of the major causes of
>>violence and degeneration in our population. The oversized tubes
>>give the impression of a "real world" when the size of the
>>images approach that of real life.    The smaller images will
>>make it much easier for them to remain aware that the acts they
>>are witnessing are not "real".
>>
>>The violence and
>>atrocities that are broadcast continuously, day and night,
>>for general consumption, even though faked and representing
>>only a "virtual" world are nevertheless becoming real in the
>>minds of many of our people. Their minds become all twisted
>>and skewed toward violence as the answer to all problems
>>and they see it as as normal course of events while seeing
>>very few presentations of the price that society demands in
>>payment for acts such as murder, rape, and kidnapping.
>>
>>So, requiring smaller pictures of all the violence will
>>help.      An even more useful move would be to televise
>>and publicize executions.   They should be held in the
>>equivalent of the "Town Square" at high noon on Sundays,
>>with great ceremony, and attended by prominent
>>individuals in the community.
>>However, there are many who, for various reasons,
>>do not appreciate the value of that sort of procedure.
>>
>>And, herein lies a true paradox: the same people who
>>go into spasmodic frenzies at the thought of public
>>executions will set in front of a TV tube for hours upon
>>hours upon hours, or in a movie house, watching
>>all grades/varieties of
>>sadistic mayhem (most faked but much actual live video),
>>torture, bloodshed, and atrocities mixed with soap
>>ads and Jap car commercials.    After it's over they'll
>>say, "My, wasn't that a great show!" or "My, doesn't
>>CNN give great coverage !!"
>>
>>People are Funny."

      A Story To Live By
       by Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times)
       My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau
       and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not
       a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed
       me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with
       a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on
       it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went
       to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She
       was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the
       occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with
       the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands
       lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the
>       drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a
       special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
       I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
       followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad
       chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on
      the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where
>       my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that
       she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things
       that she had done without realizing that they were special.
>
>       I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.
       I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and
       admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.
       I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time
       in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern
       of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize
       these moments now and cherish them.
       I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for
       every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink
       unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
       I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory
       is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag
       of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for
       special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks
       have noses that function as well as my party-going friends'.
       "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my
       vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to
       see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have
       done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we
       all take for granted. I think she would have called family members
       and a few close friends. She might have called a few former
       friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles.
       I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner,
       her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know.
       It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if
       I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing
       good Friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday.
       Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to
       write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my
       husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them.
       I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything
       that would add laughter and luster to our lives.
       And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is
       special.
       Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
       If you've received this it is because someone cares for you
       and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.
       If you're too busy to take the few minutes that it would
       take right now to forward this to ten people, would it be the
       first time you didn't do that little thing that would make a
       difference in your relationships?   I can tell you it
       certainly won't be the last. I don't have to make up
       silly stories about people being hit by buses or crushed by falling
       disco balls for not sending this letter on. You've seen the result
       of this neglect in your own relationships that you have allowed to
       fade, dissolve, and fall into disrepair.
       Take this opportunity to set a new trend. Take a few minutes
       to send this to a few people you care about, just to let
       them know that you're thinking of them. It's even better if
       they're not the people you already correspond with every
       week. The more people that you send this to, the better
       luck you will have. And the better you'll get and reaching out
       to those you care about.

ODD SIGNS FROM ENGLAND

1.    IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your
clothes when the light goes out.

2.    IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

3.    IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday
please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

4.    IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot
and stand upside down on the draining board.

5.    ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this
door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use
side entrance)

6.    OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing
machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful
bargain.

7.    QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be
drowned. By order of the District Council.

8.    NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments
here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

9.    IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

10.   SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

11.   SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know
it, there is a day care on the first floor.

12.   NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for
free, but the bull charges.

13.   MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell
      you how to get lessons.

14.   ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on
the door - the bell doesn't work)

15.   SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order.
Please use floor below.

somebody is very proud of you.
    -somebody is thinking of you.
    -somebody is caring about you.
    -somebody misses you.
    -somebody wants to talk to you.
    -somebody wants to be with you.
    -somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
    -somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
    -somebody wants to hold your hand.
    -somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
    -somebody wants you to be happy.
    -somebody wants you to find him/her.
    -somebody is celebrating your successes.
    -somebody wants to give you a gift.
    -somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
    -somebody hopes you're not too cold, or too hot
    -somebody wants to hug you.
    -somebody loves you.
    -somebody wishes you would lavish them with small things.
    -somebody admires your strength.
    -somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
    -somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.
    -somebody wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun.
    -somebody thinks the world of you.
    -somebody wants to protect you.
    -somebody would do anything for you.
    -somebody wants to be forgiven.
    -somebody is grateful for your forgiveness.
    -somebody wants to laugh with you about old times.
    -somebody remembers you and wishes that you were there.
    -somebody needs to know that your love is unconditional.
    -somebody values your advice.
    -somebody wants to tell you how much they care.
    -somebody wants to stay up watching old movies with you.
    -somebody wants to share their dreams with you.
    -somebody wants to hold you in their arms.
    -somebody wants YOU to hold them in your arms.
    -somebody treasures your spirit.
    -somebody wishes they could STOP time because of you.
    -somebody praises God for your friendship and love.
    -somebody can't wait to see you.
    -somebody wishes that things didn't have to change.
    -somebody loves you for who you are.
    -somebody loves the way you make them feel.
    -somebody wants to be with you.
    -somebody is hoping they can grow old with you.
    -somebody wants you to know they are there for you.
    -somebody's glad that you're his/her friend.
    -somebody wants to be your friend.
    -somebody stayed up all night thinking about you.
    -somebody is alive because of you.
    -somebody is very remorseful after losing your friendship.
    -somebody is wishing that you noticed him/her.
    -somebody wants to get to know you better.
    -somebody wants to be near you.
    -somebody misses your advice/guidance.
    -somebody has faith in you.
    -somebody trusts you.
    -somebody needs you to send them this letter
    -somebody needs your support.
    -somebody needs you to have faith in them.
    -somebody will cry when they read this.
    -somebody needs you to let them be your friend.
    -somebody hears a song that reminds them of you.

Click "File" and "Send" and "Link By Email" and type in their E-Mail address.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Memorize your favorite poem.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you
want.
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it's the
only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slow but think quick.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile
and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your Mom.
16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps
to correct it.
21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your
voice.
22. Marry a someone you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other skill.
23. Spend time alone.
24.    Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
25.    Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
26.    Read more books and watch less TV.
27.    Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and
think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
28.    Trust in God, but lock your car.
29.    A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can
to create a tranquil harmonious home.
30.    In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current
situation; don't bring up the past.
31.    Read between the lines.
32.    Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
33.    Be gentle with the earth.
34.    Pray -- there's immeasurable power in it.
35.    Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
36.    Mind your own business.
37.    Don't trust someone who doesn't close their eyes when you kiss
them.
38.    Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
39.    If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while
you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
40.    Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke
of luck.
41.    Learn the rules then break some.
42.    Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for
each other is greater than your need for each other.
43.    Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
44.    Remember that your character is your destiny.
45.    Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Top 20 Ways to Tell if a Redneck Works at a Computer in your Office:
>>
>>
>> 1.The mouse is referred to as a "critter."
>> 2.The keyboard is camouflaged.
>> 3.There is a skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
>> 4.There is a gunrack mounted on the CPU.
>> 5.The password is, "Bubba."
>> 6.The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
>> 7.NRA mousepad on desk, next to the Bible.
>> 8.Windows 95 has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.
>> 9.Outgoing faxes have beerstains on them.
>> 10.The printer goes really slow since Bubba don't read too fast.
>> 11.The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.
>> 12.The menus all have Rolling Rock, Black Label, Lone Star and Old
>> Milwaukee options.
>> 13.Jeff Foxworthy *.wavs.
>> 14.The monitor is up on blocks.
>> 15.Seven blue tick hounds under the desk, next to the moonshine still.
>> 16.Deer jerky in the desk drawer, next to the mouth harp.
>> 17.The screen saver consists of pictures of Ned Beatty with Dueling
>> Banjos playing in the background.
>> 18.Wastebasket is a spittoon.
>> 19.John Deer Pocket Protectors.
>> 20.Autographed picture of the cast from the "Dukes of Hazzard" on the
>> desk.

FROM THE OTHER SIDE
By Patrick Camunes

At first there was no place for us to go until someone put up that Black
Granite Wall. Now, everyday and night, my Brothers and my Sisters wait
to see the many people from places afar file in front of this Wall. Many
stopping briefly and many for hours and some that come on a regular
basis. It was hard at first, not that it's gotten any easier, but it
seems that many of the attitudes towards that war that we were involved
in have changed. I can only pray that the ones on the other side have
learned something and more Walls as this one needn't be built.

Several members of my unit and many that I did not recognize have
called me to the Wall by touching my name that is engraved upon it.
The tears aren't necessary but are hard even for me to hold back.
Don't feel guilty for not being with me, my Brothers. This was my destiny
as it is yours, to be on that side of the Wall.

Touch the Wall, my Brothers, so that we can share in the memories that
we had. I have learned to put the bad memories aside and remember
only the pleasant times that we had together. Tell our other Brothers out
there to come and visit me, not to say Good Bye but to say Hello and be
together again, even for a short time and to ease that pain of loss that
we all share.

Today, an irresistible and loving call comes from the Wall. As I approach
I can see an elderly lady and as I get closer I recognize her.......It's
Momma! As much as I have looked forward to this day, I have also
regretted it because I didn't know what reaction I would have.

Next to her, I suddenly see my wife and immediately think how hard it must
of been for her to come to this place and my mind floods with the pleasant
memories of 30 years past. There's a young man in a military uniform
standing with his arm around her......My God!......It's...it has to be my
son. Look at him trying to be the man without a tear in his eye. I yearn
to tell him how proud I am, seeing him standing tall, straight and proud
in his uniform.

Momma comes closer and touches the Wall and I feel the soft and gentle
touch I had not felt in so many years. Dad has crossed to this side of
the Wall and through our touch, I try to convey to her that Dad is doing
fine and is no longer suffering or feeling pain. I see my wife's courage
building as she sees Momma touch the Wall and she approaches and
lays her hand on my waiting hand. All the emotions, feelings and memories
of three decades past flash between our touch and I tell her that it's
alright. Carry on with your life and don't worry about me......I can see
as I look into her eyes that she hears and understands me and a big burden
has been lifted from her.

I watch as they lay flowers and other memories of my past. My lucky
charm that was taken from me and sent to her by my CO, a tattered and
worn teddy bear that I can barely remember having as I grew up as a
child and several medals that I had earned and were presented to my
wife. One of them is the Combat Infantry Badge that I am very proud of
and I notice that my son is also wearing this medal. I had earned
mine in the jungles of Vietnam and he had probably earned his in the
deserts of Iraq.

I can tell that they are preparing to leave and I try to take a mental
picture of them together, because I don't know when I will see them
again. I wouldn't blame them if they were not to return and can only
thank them that I was not forgotten. My wife and Momma near the Wall for
one final touch and so many years of indecision, fear and sorrow are let
go. As they turn to leave I feel my tears that had not flowed for so
many years, form as if dew drops on the other side of the Wall.

They slowly move away with only a glance over their shoulder. My son
suddenly stops and slowly returns. He stands straight and proud in
front of me and snaps a salute. Something makes him move to the Wall
and he puts his hand upon the Wall and touches my tears that had
formed on the face of the Wall and I can tell that he senses my presence
there and the pride and the love that I have for him. He falls to his
knees and the tears flow from his eyes and I try my best to reassure him
that it's alright and the tears do not make him any less of a man.

As he moves back wiping the tears from his eyes, he silently mouths,
God Bless you, Dad...... God Bless, YOU, Son...... We WILL meet
someday but in the meanwhile, go on your way...... There is no
hurry.......There is no hurry at all.

As I see them walk off in the distance, I yell out to THEM and EVERYONE
there today, as loud as I can,.........THANKS FOR REMEMBERING and as
others on this side of the Wall join in, I notice that the US Flag that so
proudly flys in front of us everyday, is flapping and standing proudly
straight out in the wind today.....

THANK YOU ALL FOR REMEMBERING.........

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